Robbie Williams one said , “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”
this resonated with millions, across borders, cultures, & even age groups.
at some point in time, as a child, a teen, an adult or a senior citizen, most people have been on the receiving end of ‘Killer – Silent Treatment’
Yes, killer, as it does kill,
a relationship, a mood, a little loving heart, and sometimes it manifests into physical ailments.
As we’ve now aware of, the opposite of Love isn’t Hate, but ignoring someone!
When someone, goes silent on us, assumptions of what caused it begin to play,
not having the option to express or talk, begins to EAT us from within
Humans are social beings, meaning we have a need to express, through words, emotions, eye-contact & energy
Yet when we are Frozen out from someone, the pain, the angst is equivalent to losing someone to Death, as there is so much to say, so much to ask & no way to ‘hear them again’
And ever so often a silent treatment is not from someone far away, but someone we live with, someone we see daily
and that’s hurtful
They wake up in the same house & ignore,
look straight at us & then beyond us
walk around us, that we don’t exist
and then go back to bed, without resolving any issue
How can love be so painful?
Love isn’t, love is Unconditional,
This is conditioned behavior, to avoid a tough conversation
this is conditioned behavior to punish
this is conditioned behavior to express their own pain
So what can you do if you are privy to such behavior?
Let’s step back a bit,
Silence – when chosen voluntarily is Peace
it’s the same tool to self discovery, a path chosen to enlightenment
and yet so harmful in relationships.
The differentiation here is “Intent”
When peace & introspection is the INTENT – the result is Peace
When the Intent is – to Punish – the result is hurt
When we talk about Physical ailments due to Stress, it’s all of this and more
Being ignored, and acting like its ok !
There has to be a Let out – And when that channel is not fulfilled through emotions and conversations, it manifests into illnesses.
So is there a way out ?
Cause there always is a BETTER way.
Remember more than often the person giving this ‘treatment’ is hurt too.
Yes their choice of resolving isn’t great, yet from their perspective they are HURT too.
So what can be done :
1) Understand & acknowledge, that they are hurt & this choice is most likely something they have been on the receiving end of, maybe in a previous relationship,or worse, in their childhood
2) While we give them the benefit of doubt, give yourself the Space & respect to be treated well, spoken to & communicated with
That means creating an environment of a healthy conversation, minus all the drama of yelling, throwing things, name calling,
Very often, people resort to ‘not speaking’ as they believe its pointless talking or it only creates a bigger and new issue.
3) spend this time healing , yourself & the person
Forgiveness is one of the biggest emotions , and yet the most forgotten ones.
Forgiveness is not saying, its ok that they hurt you, its acknowledging that holding a grudge is harmful,
so letting go of that energy is important or it creates a place in our physical body only to manifest into some terminal illness
4) And then take action, action of improvement, action of how to deal with a similar situation or sometimes action to walk away – But healed
Cause everything that happens, happens for a reason. So learn, forgive, feel & grow
Much love & light … xoxo Kim Shelar