The Silent Treatment – Not so Silent after all

Robbie Williams one said , “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” 

this resonated with millions, across borders, cultures, & even age groups.

at some point in time, as a child, a teen, an adult or a senior citizen, most people have been on the receiving end of ‘Killer – Silent Treatment’

Yes, killer, as it does kill, 

a relationship, a mood, a little loving heart, and sometimes it manifests into physical ailments.

As we’ve now aware of, the opposite of Love isn’t Hate, but ignoring someone!

When someone,  goes silent on us, assumptions of what caused it begin to play,

not having the option to express or talk, begins to EAT us from within

Humans are social beings, meaning we have a need to express, through words, emotions, eye-contact & energy

Yet when we are Frozen out  from someone, the pain, the angst is equivalent to losing someone to Death, as there is so much to say, so much to ask & no way to ‘hear them again’

And ever so often a silent treatment is not from someone far away, but someone we live with, someone we see daily 

and that’s hurtful

They wake up in the same house & ignore, 

look straight at us & then beyond us

walk around us, that we don’t exist

and then go back to bed, without resolving any issue

How can love be so painful?

Love isn’t, love is Unconditional, 

This is conditioned behavior, to avoid a tough conversation

this is conditioned behavior to punish

this is conditioned behavior to express their own pain 

So what can you do if you are privy to such behavior?

Let’s step back a bit, 

Silence – when chosen voluntarily is Peace 

it’s the same tool to self discovery, a path chosen to enlightenment 

and yet so harmful in relationships.

The differentiation here is “Intent”

When peace & introspection is the INTENT – the result is Peace

When the Intent is – to Punish – the result is hurt

When we talk about Physical ailments due to Stress, it’s all of this and more

Suppressed emotions, 

Being ignored, and acting like its ok !

There has to be a Let out – And when that channel is not fulfilled through emotions and conversations, it manifests into illnesses.

So is there a way out ?


Cause there always is a BETTER way.

Remember more than often the person giving this ‘treatment’ is hurt too.

Yes their choice of resolving isn’t great, yet from their perspective they are HURT too.

So what can be done :

1) Understand & acknowledge, that  they are hurt & this choice is most likely something they have been on the receiving end of, maybe in a previous relationship,or worse, in their childhood

2) While we give them the benefit of doubt, give yourself the Space & respect to be treated well, spoken to & communicated with

That means creating an environment of a healthy conversation, minus all the drama of yelling, throwing things, name calling, 

Very often, people resort to ‘not speaking’ as they believe its pointless talking or it only creates a bigger and new issue.

3) spend this time healing , yourself & the person

Forgiveness is one of the biggest emotions , and yet the most forgotten ones.

Forgiveness is not saying, its ok that they hurt you, its acknowledging that holding a grudge is harmful, 

so letting go of that energy is important or it creates a place in our physical body only to manifest into some terminal illness

4) And then take action, action of improvement, action of how to deal with a similar situation or sometimes action to walk away – But healed 

Cause everything that happens, happens for a reason. So learn, forgive, feel & grow

Much love & light … xoxo Kim Shelar 

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